The Single Greatest Letter Ever Sent to Sports Parents, Revisited

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letter-to-parents1A while back, I wrote about an absolutely tremendous letter which a Little League baseball coach and former major leaguer named Mike Matheny sent to the parents of his players. Since Matheny is now coaching the St. Louis Cardinals in the World Series against the Boston Red Sox, I thought I’d observe the occasion by reposting a few key passages of what’s become known as the Matheny Manifesto. (For more, I recommend you check out the whole thing here.)

Dear [Parent],

I always said that the only team that I would coach would be a team of orphans, and now here we are. The reason for me saying this is that I have found the biggest problem with youth sports has been the parents. I think that it is best to nip this in the bud right off the bat. I think the concept that I am asking all of you to grab is that this experience is ALL about the boys. If there is anything about it that includes you, we need to make a change of plans. My main goals are as follows:

(1) to teach these young men how to play the game of baseball the right way,

(2) to be a positive impact on them as young men, and

(3) do all of this with class.

We may not win every game, but we will be the classiest coaches, players, and parents in every game we play. The boys are going to play with a respect for their teammates, opposition, and the umpires no matter what.

Once again, this is ALL about the boys. I believe that a little league parent feels that they must participate with loud cheering and “Come on, let’s go, you can do it”, which just adds more pressure to the kids. I will be putting plenty of pressure on these boys to play the game the right way with class, and respect, and they will put too much pressure on themselves and each other already. You as parents need to be the silent, constant, source of support.

I am a firm believer that this game is more mental than physical, and the mental may be more difficult, but can be taught and can be learned by a 10 and 11 year old. If it sounds like I am going to be demanding of these boys, you are exactly right. I am definitely demanding their attention, and the other thing that I am going to require is effort. Their attitude, their concentration, and their effort are the things that they can control. If they give me these things every time they show up, they will have a great experience.

I need all of you to know that we are most likely going to lose many games this year. The main reason is that we need to find out how we measure up with the local talent pool. The only way to do this is to play against some of the best teams. I am convinced that if the boys put their work in at home, and give me their best effort, that we will be able to play with just about any team.

Isn’t that great? And is it any coincidence that Matheny has gone on to succeed at the highest level?

I think it goes to underline a simple truth: great coaches are first and foremost great communicators. They’re not like heroic ship captains, always knowing where to steer. They’re more like radio stations, adept at sending the right signal at the right time to enable people to steer themselves.

PS- GO CARDS!!


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4 Responses to “The Single Greatest Letter Ever Sent to Sports Parents, Revisited”

  1. Scott Moulson says:

    Thanks for this Daniel. Sending it out to the 12 year old hockey team I coach.
    Scott Moulson
    (father of Matt, #26 New York Islanders)

  2. Napster says:

    Daniel, I too love this letter. I plan to blog about the awesomeness behind sheer determination, referencing your book! But to be really really honest, being a Bostonian, I love the Sox even more!
    Thank you for sharing.

  3. djcoyle says:

    You’re very welcome, Jen — thanks for the kind words, and congrats on the big Series win!

  4. Vanja Adamov says:

    Wise words 🙂

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